.jpg)
(Dominic-Da Minh) Dao Van Nghia
1918 - 2008
I’d like to dedicate this blog entry to my Maternal Grandfather who passed away almost 2 weeks ago last Monday, October 13th after a long battle from complications with diabetes and a stroke. It has been an emotional few weeks both physically and mentally for everyone. He was in the hospital for the past 3 months and was in and out of intensive care during that time. He had a turn for the worse a few weeks ago and had to be placed on a breathing machine. Doctors told us that he only would make it a few more days. Therefore, phone calls were made overseas to the U.S. and to Australia where some of my family (parents, aunt and uncles) rushed back to Vietnam to be with him during his last days.
It is truly amazing the impact he had on his family and the people around him. During his time at the hospital, our family rented out a separate room so that he wouldn’t have to share with another patient. He would have dozens of visitors each day, up to as many as 20 at any one point in time.
The family decided to bring him home last Monday so that he would be able to pass away at his home and with his family at his bedside. There were at least 30-40 of us (not including children) waiting at home for the ambulance to arrive from the hospital. Not too long after he arrived home he passed away. I'm sure he was happy to be at home with his loved ones when he passed.
The wake services and funeral were amazing spectacles due to the sheer number of people that attended. The first night, nearly 300 people crammed into the house to pay respects to my Grandfather. One evening, my cousin-in-law’s Father, who is a conductor, brought his orchestra to perform. Our house is on a major intersection and people passing by would stop to ask who had passed away. Was he a political figure, royalty, or a famous person? Not any of the above but nonetheless a great man. My Grandfather was known as the “village leader” or the person that would represent those residents in that part of the countryside, almost like a pseudo-mayor but not as official and very personable. Whenever families had domestic disputes, they would ask my Grandfather to come to be the arbitrator. They trusted and respected his opinions and advice.
This was the first time in over 30 years, since the War ended in 1975, that all 6 of his children were in the same room together. It was great to see my Mom with all of her siblings as they talked and reminisced about the "old" days. I definitely believe my Grandfather is in a better place now with God looking proudly down upon his family and his loved ones.
We do not mourn his death but CELEBRATE his life. He loved his family unconditionally and wanted nothing more than to have them together. We were all blessed to have him with us for 90 great years. He left behind his wife, 6 children, 31 Grandchildren, and 18 Great-Grandchildren.
Grandfather, may you rest in peace...We will all miss you, we all love you!
Please see below for several pictures of the past couple of weeks. Vietnamese traditions are quite different from those of the Western culture so please do not take offense to some of the pictures as they show people’s emotions during that time. Part of the culture is to record and document this time with videos and pictures.
Before my Grandfather passed, a meeting was held by the elders in the family to discuss funeral arrangements:
My Uncle (Mom's Cousin) is a Priest in Australia who came back to visit and had a Mass at my Grandparents home:
Family members waiting the arrival of my Grandfather from the hospital on his last night:
My Parents and I. The children of the deceased wear white shaws over their heads while all other relatives wear white headbands and great-grandchildren wear yellow headbands. My mom is holding white and yellow headbands for my Sisters & Brother and my Nieces and Nephews who were not able to attend:
Blessing of the headbands:
My Uncle & Aunt and their 9 kids and grandkids:
My other Aunt & Uncle and their 7 kids and grandkids:
My Mom and her 5 siblings plus spouses, together after 30+ years:
My Grandfather's older and younger sister:
Wake service:
Orchestra Performance:
It is extremely important after death that loved ones remain with the body and continue to pray for the soul of the deceased. The wake services takes place at the house and prayers are said at least every hour until the funeral. Therefore, it's imperative for someone to always be by the coffin. Actually the first 100 days after death are important in our culture and prayers for the deceased are said daily. Here's a picture of my Mom, Aunts and Uncle taking a nap in the wee hours of the morning:
Final viewing before closing of the coffin:
Incense Burning:
Beginning of funeral Procession to the Church:
I'm alergic to all the flowers..therefore I was sneazing alot:
Five Priests presided over the Mass...Three of them are relatives:
Many Churches still hold to the tradition of women on one side and men on the other side of the church, it's not mandatory however:
There were 6 tour buses rented, a handful of personal automobiles, and numersous motorbikes that attended the burial at the cemetery.
Motorcade procession to Cemetery:
Procession to gravesite:
Here I am speaking on behalf of the Grandchildren living in the U.S. (I was nervous and shaking so the Priest [my Uncle] held the paper steady for me...just like an altar boy :-) :
Final Blessing of the casket:
Lowering of the Casket:
May You Rest in Peace:
Eating after the Funeral (over 300 people):
On the first night after we buried our Grandfather several of us had stay overnight at the cemetery. Due to the scope and size of the funeral we were worried that "grave robbers" may come by and dig up the grave as this happens frequently here. On the second night we partially dug up the grave and poured a slab of concrete to seal the grave and then added a second layer of concrete to finish off the top. All the work necessary at the gravesite is typically done by family members as a last act of service to the deceased:
This is me digging:
We didn't have the luxury of a cement truck. We had to mix the cement ourselves...cement powder, dirt, rocks, and water:
Mid-evening meal break:
Back to work, adding frame and second slab of concrete:
"I'm not a concrete specialist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express":
We finished up my Grandfather's grave and also filled a layer of cement over 2 other plots that we own next to my Grandfather's. We did this because we didn't want anyone being burried in them...yes, that also happens here too. A job well done by all involved:
Random picture of me trying on my Uncle's "uniform":
Final picture of my Dad & Mom and all of her siblings & some of their spouses with my Grandmother:
Thank you everyone for your prayers and words of sympathy! May God Bless you always!
